Dale Carnegie "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

For those of you who have not read this book, I HIGHLY recommend it. My parents read it a long time ago, and suggested to us kids to read it as well. As I'm not an avid reader, I finally came to listen to it-the audiobook-when I was in the KC area...and then decided to listen to it again recently. Several weeks ago I had a very unpleasant situation that I feel could have been handled differently, had I used the principles in this book. The whole situation could have had a MUCH happier outcome on both parts.

Below is a link to see the general bullet points of this book, according to Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People


Long story short, there are SEVERAL different tactics that could have been handled WAY better, but I had forgotten these principles, and I soon learned the final out come to the situation: the money was refunded, even though it probably should not have been. Despite this, I was re-thinking the whole situation in my head. I'm the front line gal, and felt I did handle the situation very professionally, yet not necessarily according to the principles in the book, hence the reason I think if a future situation comes up like this one, I would change a few things.

My first contact with this individual, I listened to the individual's side of the story, got the facts, took a message, and told her I would make sure to get back with her. At that point, I knew she was upset about the whole situation, and whether she was right or wrong-in her head, she was right-and unless I could change that one thought, there was not a way anything positive was going to be done. Now-after discussing the dates she stayed with the housekeeper, I did find out I was extremely wrong in over-charging for dates this young lady stayed.

This is where Carnegie's book comes into play. What I SHOULD have done is called her back and apologized for the inconvenience. Stated that it is great that she brought this situation to my/our attention. Again, appologize for the inconvenience it has caused her and talk about how her determination has and will do well for her in her career and as a student. (according to this book-leave out the fact that we don't give refunds-and that of the "4" nights she was to stay, we had record that she stayed 2-whether she did or not-according to her, she did not. BUT-leave all of that out-start with good, then let them calm down and negotiate further from there)

Then, once she had received my apologies, she (according to the book) would be more empathetic and be more willing to apologize as well. At that point, it would be time to state that as a great student, we want to make sure that she is satisfied with our services and that we normally don't give refunds. However, would be happy to reduce her stay to what our cleaning records stated, and the best we could do was reduce the stay by 1/2. NOW-in reality- I did tell her that we would reduce the cost-but I did not apologize (or maybe I did, but not nearly as much as I should have done, as listed above). Additionally, I was as friendly as I could have been, but by that point-and what really happened, she was all fired up and ready to torch the building.

So, after much dismay, she went to not only my boss (who did get her to calm down, but she was still on the defense), but his boss and on up the chain. I admire her determination, but for a mere $20, is it really worth it? According to Carnegie's book, she wanted to feel important, and listened to. Neither of which I accomplished very well. I also could have gotten her to say "yes" as in the "Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking" #5 bullet under that section. This section is very interesting, as if a person says "no," they are on the defensive and more likely to be even MORE disagreeable. However, if a person says "yes" they are more likely to see what you want them to see, whether they agree with it or not.

Very fascinating.

Anyway, Put that book on your Christmas list. I really do think that in the future, if I apply these principles, I will have a much higher success rate, and MANY less situations where unhappy people want to eat me for dinner.


~Robin